No matter what we've seen, no matter what we've been through, we're all going to face the same choice - to either accept life for what it is - not what it should be, or sink into our own minds and be swallowed up by it to escape the pain. Can I accept life - and everyone in it - for who and what they are? Or must they be held to a standard of the way things "should be"?
As long as one is seeing the world through a "what it should be" set of lenses, they can never be happy. Whether it is looking toward the future or behind them at the past, or even at a set of circumstances that never existed before in history and probably never will... No matter what, if you are holding life - or love - to a standard beyond which it truly exists, you will be unhappy, tortured. "Crazy" is simply the place where we meet that decision face-to-face, and we stay there until we know which we're going to choose. This is the point where we are "interrupted".
Some people face the choice and deal with its consequences sooner than others - some don't wait until they've hit "crazy" like I did. Some even achieve this as children, and never struggle with the decision at all.
Sanity is the same as love. Love is the same as sanity. It isn't tangible, but it is real. It is dynamic - it changes with each passing hour, and requires the same two things:
- The decision to do it (to love someone, or to be sane - which is, in my opinion, to be present in life), and
- Acceptance of something for exactly what it is, without the need to change it or be angry with it for what it consists of.
Does that mean I am crazy? Or have I just not chosen to accept it for what it is yet?
Freedom from the pain I'm referring to requires the same thing as freedom from the pain love brings. You can achieve freedom from both through pure, unconditional acceptance of what the world (or who the one you love) is.
We are brought up to believe anything is possible - if you don't like things as they are, change them! While this is true and has its place, it creates a belief that change is possible where it often isn't, and the suffering of others (or ourselves) - and our inability to stop it or alter it - sometimes cripples us.
Acceptance of the planet and its inhabitants as what they are, without need to change them or go forward or backward in time, is freedom from that pain.
This is a choice, and sanity - or more importantly, insanity - is not a fixed condition. You may choose which side you're on, and no one can do it for you.
This is the source of my insanity. Which, was never insanity at all.