I take an Ambien every night for sleep. At this point I've been taking it so long that I can't sleep at all without it. One night (February 25, 2011 - note that this is over a year ago, when Steve and I were living together) I took my ambien and began writing in my journal. I don't recall anything beyond that moment, as ambien shuts down part of your brain's functions to allow you to quiet your mind and rest. Memory loss is extremely common with this medication.
The following is what was written in my journal that night, which I discovered there the next morning, and is provided for your entertainment.
(Notice in the pictures below how my handwriting changes and the spacing expands as time goes by and the Ambien kicks in. I haven't changed a single word, and no, I have never spoken like this in my life. That's what makes it hysterical.)
"I told Steve he was getting more anti-Mormon every day. He told me that was 'a stupid general word that only an unintelligent node would bring into a conversation'.
Well is that right, Mrs.?
I'll tell you what, Mr. High and Smartsy, if you ever refer to me as
Someone who believes I am unintelligent is they themselves lacking a great deal of intelect. I am a very intelligent woman, and I intend to prove it through my published works over my lifetime.
My husband, shortsighted as he may be, can plan to call me unintelligent nevermore. Else he will find. I will quite swiftly become un-neighborly.
What right from he? How high a man to feel so entitled to call me unintelligent!
Only one who knows not much could say such a thing as I know nothing.
He has no rights. He has no heart.
I have no bed. I have no loan.
He has no silver. He has no soul.
I have no home. I have no love.
When did he think the world revolved around him? Why is he the one and only human worth anything?
And hell, if he is so worth having everything, why the hell should I sit here and give so much shit?
:) Long live Ambien :)
It makes this betrayal feeling feel like it's not all so bad.
Except for the fact that my very own husband thinks I am an unintelligent node.
Hm. Yeah, it's probably not best to tell your intellectually-based wife that she is unintelligent.
That's the last time anyone makes that mistake with me.
And it's also the next time I will saw (see) Joshua.
That's the last time you got any of my writing pre-published.
Off the team."